A Do Over

So glad that’s over!  Anyone else feel that way about Halloween?  The influx of candy had been building all week, then big daughter got sick with the flu and my stress/emotional eating spell began.  Friday and Saturday were a blur of chocolate, sugar, cheese, bread, pizza and chips.  There was no semblance of health involved in any of the choices I made.  Actually, there were a few meals that I attempted to pull together something healthy, but ended up eating other things because eating something healthy didn’t even taste good.  I even ditched the exercise.  I have to say that I was scared for a minute.  I thought that I had gone completely off the deep end;  you know, that slippery slope that sends you back to old eating habits and 70 pounds heavier in no time flat.  *insert horror movie scream*.  Terrifying.

Saturday afternoon, I was doing some cleaning of clutter and came across a few pictures of myself.  There aren’t very many of me during the “fat years” which was a span of 10 years.  I was the one usually behind the camera.  I often joke to the husband that he could easily “off me” and there would be no evidence that I existed because most of the pictures of our family vacations and outings with the daughters are just of him and the girls!  I did happen to come across a few while cleaning out a bookcase and I was stunned to see the pictures of myself.  In the pictures, I had a smile on my face, but I knew that I hated the way that I looked…

  I realize while looking at these, that there is no going back for me.  I cannot be that person again.  I won’t do it.  But, when I have gone this far off the deep end this weekend, it is so hard to get back on track.  How do I go back to trying to eat intuitively when I dropped it like a hot potato?  A fried one?  There was only one answer…

Nike knows their stuff :)

That brings me to today.  I am stoked for a new month!  It’s gonna be a busy one and I’m going to think long and hard about how I will manage the eating season.  I know the issue is not the food, it’s how I react to the emotions and stress in my daily life.  I haven’t quite figured that part out yet, but I will keep on keepin’ on:)

First thing on the agenda was to fill up this guy…

I’ve been really slacking on my water which is weird since I’ve always been a huge chugger.

Then, I tackled the first meal of the day –breakfast.  Nothing was appealing to me.  I still had sugar coursing through my veins!  I was going to skip it altogether, but know that usually comes back to haunt me!

I decided on a tasting breakfast plate…

It got better from there!  Lunch was a bowl of black bean soup…

and a good hunk of cornbread…

The afternoon was long and filled with bowls of candy in every room!  I opted for some skim milk and a Ginger Apple Oat Breakfast Cookie…

Dinner was a family favorite – Chicken Cutlets and broccoli.  Instead of offering rustic Italian bread on the side, I decided to try out this Beer Bread mix from Trader Joe’s…

Just calls for a  bottle of this to make it…

I haven’t had much luck with Beer Bread before.  The husband and daughters have not been fans, so I held my beer breath on this one!  It baked up beautifully in only 45 minutes and I didn’t detect much of a beer smell or taste at all.  Everyone loved it!  It was a nice, dense and slightly chewy bread.  I think it would make for a great grilled cheese, too. 

I served myself  a small slice with dinner…

but dug into another slice before putting the remainder of the loaf away! 

JUST DO IT!!!

ONE GOOD THING:  I realized today that I can do this.  I can get back on track.  I can keep the weight off.  I can do it…for life :)