Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Burnout

I think this is what I am experiencing: burnout. My funk from yesterday has not totally lifted. I started off with good intentions, but by lunchtime, I was off the wagon. I don't even know what I was eating; just anything. I didn't care what it was cause I just felt burned out from trying so hard. But some interesting revelations came to me today. I'll take you through the good parts of the day; no use talking about the rotten things I ate. It's already done. I'm gonna pay the price tomorrow (sorry A-Team), but I learned some things about myself. So here goes...

After hitting the elliptical for 35 min., I had a sausage and cheese english muffin using these guys...


A serving is 2 patties, 90 cal. and 6 gr. fat for 2 POINTS. I only used 1 patty which is 1 POINT. These guys are a bit small, so I had to cut it in half so it would cover my english muffin. For the sammie, I used a light english muffin, 1 sausage patty and a slice of 2% cheese (3 POINTS)...

I had good plans for lunch: black bean soup , a Golden Corn Vitatop and a tbsp. of hummus...
I split the Vitatop and spread the hummus on it. Mmmm. This was a good combo for 3 POINTS!
But, for some reason, that wasn't enough. Lots of other things came after this. But, I'm moving on...
So, I was out after lunch running some errands and I picked up something else to eat that I shouldn't have. It was an old habit that crept back and I have to say it felt scary. I sat in the car for a moment and "tried on" my old self again. I tried to imagine being the way I used to be and feeling the way I used to feel. It was a very strange and almost unfamiliar feeling. That felt encouraging. I realized that I don't know that person anymore. I am NOT that person anymore. I can't even imagine going back that way. I couldn't help singing that new song by T.I. (well, I don't know the rap part, just the chorus part that Justin Timberlake sings! - I'm not THAT cool) called Dead and Gone. The chorus goes, I've been travelin on this road too long, tryin to find my way back home, the old me's dead and gone, dead and gone...
And despite the return to some bad habits today, I do feel that the old me is dead and gone.
When I came home, I went down the basement and rifled through some bags of clothes that I still have down there. I dragged out a pair of jeans that I used to wear and I put them on. They were gigantic. Falling off, huge. I stared at them in disbelief. I could remember when these size 20's were tight. Here's some pics...


I really needed to see that. I decided I am going to keep these jeans as a reminder of how far I have come. Even when I don't feel it or the scale might not show it or I am just plain sick of it all, I will try on these jeans of the old me that's dead and gone. Not for mourning, only for celebrating who I am now and what the new me has been able to accomplish.
From then on, it was back on track. I feel like I need to make some changes in my eating or perhaps my exercise. I'm going to think about it the rest of the week and come up with some goals for myself. Small changes and do-able goals. I don't want to go screwing with too many things at once!
I had to help out at church tonight, so when I came home, I just heated up some leftovers for myself. I made pizza potatoes using 3 oz. leftover baked potato wedges, 1/4 c. sauce and 1 oz. lite mozzarella. I heated it all in the micro and had a side of carrots all for 5 POINTS...

I think I'll skip dessert tonight for obvious reasons! I still have to Shred , too! Only 17 days left!!! Oh and the husband, who is pretty physically fit, decided to try out the Level 2 Shred this morning for his workout. He came down all sweaty and said, boy that was hard! He said his legs felt shaky, he thinks he may be sore tomorrow! Oooooh reeeeeeally!!! So there, Level 2 Shred is not for wimps, fur shur =)
Hope everyone had a great day! I'm ready to be my WW lovin self tomorrow, so thanks for putting up with me!

13 comments:

just me said...

i'm glad your old jeans were a good reminder for you and helped bring you out of your sort of funk you were in!

cglich0630 said...

I completely understand how you feel. I have those days too where I am just tired of counting, measuring, and planning. It is a lot of work! You will be back to your self in no time though. I am sure it will pass. You just need to remind yourself of how far you have come.

Sharon said...

Oh my gosh, that is definitely great progress! Keep your chin up!

faith(215) said...

Just recently began following your blog and I can relate to this 100% right now, so grateful to have read it!!

I've been struggling this week and I know part of it is hormonal, I feel like I'm going to all the foods I'm "deprived of" yet I'm eating things that I enjoy and don't feel deprived so it's weird. Yet I guess it's too far from the norm so decided to do some calorie counting and incorporating more of these foods in hoping to avoid falling short, especially during weekends.

Great to see you in your old jeans, very motivating!1

Sue said...

Marisa, I am right there with you buddy! Maybe it IS something in the air! It makes me feel better to know you are having a hard time too. You are my hero! :)

You can totally see how far you have come girl, when you hold up those jeans!! I am so amazed at your progress.

I KNOW we can do this, and we will...but boy it sure is harder some days than others!! :)

A Diva On a Diet said...

oh wow i love the before and after in the jeans pic! Thats quite a big change, keep it up! WOWWWW... i bought some vitatops online from getting the idea from you, i cant wait for them to arrive, i live in japan so it might take forever (blah)
anyway keep blogging i get sooo many ideas from you!

todoni said...

wow! very impressing progress! i am glad to see you bouncing back and that you found the old pair jeans to remind you of how far you've come. Keep on trimming the fat! :)

Laura said...

holy crap...what amazing progress! I am in the phase where I am doing really well thus far so I am trying to just keep looking forward. When I fall off, I fall off hard....

Tracy said...

Oh wow, those pictures are amazing. That sounds like just what you needed to see how far you have come. One bad day does not make you gain it all back and sometimes you just need it for peace of mind. (remind me I said that when I have one of those days, k?) You'll be up and running today without any problem.

Amanda said...

Marissa - no one is perfect and everyone has an "off" day. That won't affect your overall trend so don't worry, just pick right back up and you are good to go!

Finally found some Cabot 75% reduced cheese that you eat. Looking forward to trying it. What's your favorite way to use this cheese??

Amy said...

Marisa, Lets look at the silver lining. WOW - look at the thought process here and how much you are aware of what you are doing. Did the old Marisa but this much thought into what went into her body? Bet not, but look at you now girl! AWESOME! Got to change the mind to change the body!! Remember it is a lifestyle and not every day are we going to be "good".

Marisa (Trim The Fat) said...

just me - I was amazed when I tried them on! Definitely helped me see myself a little differently.

cglich0630 - yeah, those reminders seem to mean so much to me now.

sharon - thanks, I'm tryin :)

faith(215)- thanks for reading and your sweet comments :)

sue - right on! we will do this!!!

a diva on a diet - oooh, can't wait for you to get the Vitatops! Wow, so cool that you live in Japan! Do you speak Japanese??

todoni - I'm trimming and shredding! LOL!!

laura - you go girl! keep on doing well and going forward!! Yay!

tracy - thanks so much - I really appreciate your support! You are rockin the WI this week!!!

Amanda - thanks! So glad you found the cheese! I don't have a particular favorite, but I like to use it for tacos, quesadillas and in eggs. It melts great and has a nice consistency; just like the real deal. Let me know what you think!

Amy - you are so right! Sometimes I think you have to take a step back to see how far you've come, I guess! I was feeling too antsy, just wanting to be "done" and at goal weight, but I realize I can't do that to myself. I'll get there when I get there. That's all I can do...

Natasha said...

Marisa,
Congratulations on how far you have come! You are an inspiration. The key is consistency. You have been diligent in your endeavor this far, so don't be too hard on yourself. I also fall off the wagon many times but the lesson is in getting back up. And I can tell from reading and seeing how far you have come, you will be back up again.
Natasha