Burnout

I think this is what I am experiencing: burnout. My funk from yesterday has not totally lifted. I started off with good intentions, but by lunchtime, I was off the wagon. I don't even know what I was eating; just anything. I didn't care what it was cause I just felt burned out from trying so hard. But some interesting revelations came to me today. I'll take you through the good parts of the day; no use talking about the rotten things I ate. It's already done. I'm gonna pay the price tomorrow (sorry A-Team), but I learned some things about myself. So here goes...

After hitting the elliptical for 35 min., I had a sausage and cheese english muffin using these guys...


A serving is 2 patties, 90 cal. and 6 gr. fat for 2 POINTS. I only used 1 patty which is 1 POINT. These guys are a bit small, so I had to cut it in half so it would cover my english muffin. For the sammie, I used a light english muffin, 1 sausage patty and a slice of 2% cheese (3 POINTS)...

I had good plans for lunch: black bean soup , a Golden Corn Vitatop and a tbsp. of hummus...

I split the Vitatop and spread the hummus on it. Mmmm. This was a good combo for 3 POINTS!

But, for some reason, that wasn't enough. Lots of other things came after this. But, I'm moving on...

So, I was out after lunch running some errands and I picked up something else to eat that I shouldn't have. It was an old habit that crept back and I have to say it felt scary. I sat in the car for a moment and "tried on" my old self again. I tried to imagine being the way I used to be and feeling the way I used to feel. It was a very strange and almost unfamiliar feeling. That felt encouraging. I realized that I don't know that person anymore. I am NOT that person anymore. I can't even imagine going back that way. I couldn't help singing that new song by T.I. (well, I don't know the rap part, just the chorus part that Justin Timberlake sings! - I'm not THAT cool) called Dead and Gone. The chorus goes, I've been travelin on this road too long, tryin to find my way back home, the old me's dead and gone, dead and gone...

And despite the return to some bad habits today, I do feel that the old me is dead and gone.

When I came home, I went down the basement and rifled through some bags of clothes that I still have down there. I dragged out a pair of jeans that I used to wear and I put them on. They were gigantic. Falling off, huge. I stared at them in disbelief. I could remember when these size 20's were tight. Here's some pics...

I really needed to see that. I decided I am going to keep these jeans as a reminder of how far I have come. Even when I don't feel it or the scale might not show it or I am just plain sick of it all, I will try on these jeans of the old me that's dead and gone. Not for mourning, only for celebrating who I am now and what the new me has been able to accomplish.

From then on, it was back on track. I feel like I need to make some changes in my eating or perhaps my exercise. I'm going to think about it the rest of the week and come up with some goals for myself. Small changes and do-able goals. I don't want to go screwing with too many things at once!

I had to help out at church tonight, so when I came home, I just heated up some leftovers for myself. I made pizza potatoes using 3 oz. leftover baked potato wedges, 1/4 c. sauce and 1 oz. lite mozzarella. I heated it all in the micro and had a side of carrots all for 5 POINTS...

I think I'll skip dessert tonight for obvious reasons! I still have to Shred , too! Only 17 days left!!! Oh and the husband, who is pretty physically fit, decided to try out the Level 2 Shred this morning for his workout. He came down all sweaty and said, boy that was hard! He said his legs felt shaky, he thinks he may be sore tomorrow! Oooooh reeeeeeally!!! So there, Level 2 Shred is not for wimps, fur shur =)

Hope everyone had a great day! I'm ready to be my WW lovin self tomorrow, so thanks for putting up with me!