Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Dieting Mind

I've been on a diet my whole life. Ever since I can remember. And when I wasn't on a diet, it was because I was in a "Oh, just be fat and happy" stage. But , I was never happy about being fat, which ultimately led me to whatever the latest and greatest diet fad was to go on. It was a vicious cycle and often self-defeating. The most success I ever had dieting was a 30 lb. loss and that was acheived through a "doctor supervised" diet of deprivation (no sugar, no bread, no oil, no alcohol) along with a side of Phen-Fen to go with it. How crazy is that? Well, in times of desperation, nothing's crazy. Every false promise of weight loss following some ridiculous program, I believed. I was willing to try it all, each time believing, wholeheartedly, that this "diet du jour" would be the answer to it all. Low carb, low cal, Grapefruit diet, 3 Day Diet, Atkins, Nutrisystem; I tried them all and more. Each diet had it's long list of rules and regulations, stipulations, food choices (good and bad) and combinations. I would absorb it all like I was studying for a big-time exam and prepared myself to follow all the rules, which I would always do. Until I fell off the wagon. That usually led to inhaling all the foods on the "don'ts" list in epic proportions.



I have thought about this mindset of a dieter a lot lately. Why do we need lists and rules and do's and don'ts when it comes to eating?? Really, isn't that absurd? I'm starting to believe so, but I think I know why we need them: we don't trust ourselves enough around food. The temptations are everywhere; the outside influences are strong to lead us to the dark side of excess. But, if we truly listen to our bodies and just feed our bodies to function while still enjoying what we are eating, it's got to be "the answer" , don't you think? It's definitely worth a try =)



On to the food...



I was a bit sore this morning from some weight lifting yesterday, so I decided to forego my regular morning workout and thought I might visit my long lost friend Wii Fit later. I got right to breakfast - a whole wheat cinnamon raisin english muffin topped with 2 tbsp. PB2...







Then I spent some time fiddling with Twitter. I am such a novice at this techy stuff, but it was fun fooling with it all! I finally broke myself away so the daughters and I could head over to my MIL's for lunch with our Aunt and cousins who were visiting from Texas. My MIL ordered Italian hoagies from our favorite place, John's Village Market. So good...




There was also a delicious macaroni salad made by my SIL...


along with bowls of nuts, pretzels and assorted peppers. I chose to eat one of the sandwiches with a few sweet peppers and a scoop of the macaroni salad. I took my time and enjoyed every bite...


Out came the dessert next. I made a flourless chocolate walnut pie (sorry, I forgot to take a pic - *think* fudgy dense brownie). We also had raisin spice cake, homemade oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies and bowls of chocolates everywhere. I didn't have a thing. No, I didn't have a fever. I just checked in with myself and realized that I was very satisfied with my lunch. It was tasty and full of flavor. Definitely not the healthiest choice, but it was the offering on the table and instead of feeling scared to eat it or denying myself, I ate what I needed to be satisfied and enjoyed it. No need to eat more than that. I hear you saying, "who is this lady and what did she do with Marisa?" =)



For dinner, I was definitely craving some fruit and veg. I opted for both! I made a tomato, cucumber and mozzarella salad...


and a fruit salad...


and had a light, but filling dinner...


I know my posts have been extremely long; thanks for hanging in there if you made it to the end! It feels good to be able to share my thoughts with you all as I try out this new way of eating life and I'd love to hear your thoughts about it, too!


Oops, way past my bedtime...have a great night!

13 comments:

Tasty Health Food said...

I think that we should all just learn to love food and to nourish our bodies well. Then we'll be fine! Live happily and healthily. :D Those hoagies look yummy!

Lele said...

I love what you have to say about listening to our bodies, and agree that we get scared to trust our bodies because we feel like they have been wrong in the past. But actually, when I look back on times I was eating unhealthily and weighing too much, it was when I wasn't tuning into my body at all!

theskinnyplate said...

Listening to your own body cues is the best way to build a healthy relationship with food. I notice that I eat out of boredom more than because I am actually hungry. Thanks for reminding me to trust my own body.

Welcome to twitter. Happy tweeting!

Andrea@WellnessNotes said...

I'm so glad you are back... You are usually the last blog I read before I turn off the computer... And I missed that... :)

Great post and great thoughts. I have been trying really hard to not have "don'ts" as they don't work very well for me. Yes, really listening to your body does work. I think it can be hard at times (especially when life happens and thinks are not predictable - that's were a diet provides structure), but I think truly listening to your body also can mean you are the "sanest" and the happiest with your relationship with food.

It sounds like you are doing great! Again, good to have you back! :)

MizFit said...

and it is so hard...at the start.

When I began to eat intuitively I SO ate crap for the first few weeks.

sugars and junk I thought my bod wanted.
until I realized my bad did NOT want that only my mouth and brain :)

and I slowlyslowly figured out how to keep all 3 (mouth brain and body) happy at once.

it took time for me to figure it all out.

Reen said...

Marisa, I MISSED YOU and was so glad to see you're posting again! I'm still down here in Florida with Mom (long story) and trying to catch on my blogging. For some reason, my blog would not show anything current until I actually added a new post this morning. that's when I realized you had been posting the last few days. So glad!

I can so understand what you've been through. I don't know if you've read some of my very early posts, but in case you didn't, you know, it took me a total of about 6 years (two phases of weight loss) to get to goal. Phase 1, I initially lost almost 50 pounds, then struggled for "a long time" (years) playing with the same 10 pounds before I finally gave up and thought I could do it on my own. I gained at least half of the weight back before returning to Weight Watchers more than a year later ( actually don't know the exact amount of time) and continuing on for over a year to get to goal.

It was a very long journey for me but I am thankful to have gone through it. I personally think that the length of time that it has taken me to get here is an advantage for me. Because it took me so so so long to get here, it's more of a deterrent for me not to return to where I was.

I know I've told you before, but you are an inspiration to me and I look forward to your posts every day.

So again, so glad you're back!

Kimberly said...

I was the ultimate calorie counter until July when I found out I was pregnant. As soon as I saw the test results, I decided to trust my body to tell me when I was hungry and when I was not - and it is working. I am almost thru the first trimester, and even though I have been eating more than I did when calorie counting, I have only gained a few pounds.

TjRenee said...

Gosh, you sure do talk a lot. hehehe

Great food as usual. Makes me hungry as usual. Good luck with the intuitive eating.

biz319 said...

If it weren't for my insulin, I wish I could eat intuitively, but I need to know exactly how many carbs I need to eat to get the right amount of insulin -

I think you are doing a great job Marisa! And those hoagies look amazing!

A Daunting Tale of Scale Warfare said...

This post really hit home for me. Since I was probably 13 years old I too have either been on a diet or trying to figure out how to just be fat & happy. I need to figure out how to listen to my body and how my body isnt what's saying "drive to McDonalds for a McFlurry," my evil evil brain is saying that :)

Marisa (Trim The Fat) said...

Thank you all for your insights!

♥ Dee ♥ said...

I gotta tell ya, I'm loving what I'm reading here, Marisa.

It tells me you are in a healthy place in life. Yay!

katecooks said...

sounds like you are doing a great job with trusting yourself right now! and you know what? the worst that will happen is that you overeat and if that does happen, just try to really enjoy what you are meeting and you will make up for it! being in tune with your body is HARD i know but it will make it so much easier to be happy with the foods you eat and not feel like you are on a perpetual diet!