Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Baby Steps

Toward the end of my superfunk, I started to feel at my wit's end with respect to how to go about losing the rest of this weight. I tried to get back to my Weight Watchers roots, everyday, pulling out my journal, ready to write down everything I ate and count up the POINTS. This had always been my "ace in the hole". Accountability in this way was key for me and I knew that anytime I wasn't journaling, I was most likely straying from the program. But, as hard as I tried to go back to the tools that I alway relied on, it wasn't working for me. I couldn't get a handle on it. Then, I thought I would try out the "non-counting" alternative of the Weight Watchers program (Momentum), but, again, there was that list of foods to choose from. I felt so lost and anxious. I knew I had to get my eating under control and back on track, but the insecurity I was feeling was overwhelming me.

After much reflection, I decided to let myself trust. Trust that I can make healthy food choices, trust that I can eat enough to make me feel satisfied, trust my body to give me the right cues and trust that I won't eat a pan of brownies because I "shouldn't" have had them to begin with. Trust that no foods should be off limits, IF I TRULY wanted them.

I started out last Tuesday with this new process. I knew this would not be an overnight epiphany. Baby steps. That's what I kept reminding myself everyday. It will take some time to undo a lifetime of The Dieting Mind, but so far my body is responding well and my mind feels liberated.



Bread + Cheese

It was way hot this morning. Too hot for an outdoor run. I hit the treadmill and planned on running 30 minutes, but got into such a good groove, I pushed it to 40 minutes. I could've run longer, but the daughters were clamoring for some breakfast!

I made myself a slice of Trader Joe's Organic Spelt Bread topped with a wedge of Laughing Cow Light and a beautious plum ...


Then, the daughters and I hopped in the car, cranked up the AC and headed out to forage for some school supplies. We all became hungry and cranky (lots of "Ouch - Quit It's and "She's Stepping, Poking, Talking to Me's"). Ugh. I needed food! I decided to use up some of the leftover salad from last night's dinner. I added some sauteed shrimp, put it over some baby spinach and topped it with a sprinkle of parmesan. I loved all the tastes...

Even though this salad was filling, I still felt like I wanted something. I sat for a bit, to see if it would pass. I think I made it to the halfway mark and decided that I would take a small handful of cheese crackers...


But, I only ended up eating half the handful. As I was eating them, I enjoyed the first few, then realized that I didn't need anymore, so I put the rest back! Whoa, that has never happened before! A small step showing that if you listen, your bod will let you know when it's had enough.
The rest of the afternoon was a joyous event of grocery shopping with the cranky people. Is it September, yet???? We got home late in the afternoon and I was feeling hungry. I thought maybe I should wait until dinner, but my stomach did not agree. I was cutting a loaf of bread to freeze and decided to have a small slice with a bit of sharp cheddar, mmmmmm...


I made up an iced coffee to get me through the rest of the afternoon with the cranky people...




I planned on grilled burgers for dinner; something we all like. I especially love this ground beef from Trader Joe's. It's 96% lean (150 cal. and 5 gr. fat for 4 oz.) and is a great price @ $3.99 lb.!



I made plain burgers for the daughters, but decided to play up mine a bit. I stuffed mine with a slice of Asiago cheese ,sauteed baby bella mushrooms and onion. They grilled up perfectly! I put it on a Pepperidge Farms Deli Flat and topped it with some baby spinach. Gram's green beans were a great side...

So good...

I did a little dessert tonight, too. I'll admit this was an impulse eat. I definitely wasn't hungry; dinner was really good enough. But, the daughters wanted to make chocolate chip banana bread and when it was done, I felt the old dieting feelings making their way to the surface..Should I, Shouldn't I? I decided it was okay. It's okay to eat banana bread. Not the whole bread, to get rid of it so you'll never have to deal with it again. Just enough to feel satisfied. So, I ate a piece...

And it was great and that was that. I don't have to worry all night long that there is still a loaf down in the kitchen or conjure up different "hiding" spots so that I can try to forget that it is there. I know I can have a piece if I want and it's okay. And knowing that makes me think I don't really want it so much anymore. Baby steps =)
Have a great night, everyone!

12 comments:

Andrea@WellnessNotes said...

I'm glad you had such a good day! Yes, you can trust yourself! Your burger with the side of green beans looks soooo good!

Again, great job! :)

Shawnee said...

Wow! I am impressed. You've inspired me to actually start journaling my food, so that I can one day rely on just my body. :) Thank you for the inspiration.

theskinnyplate said...

Glad you had a good day. Trusting one own body cues is the best way to graduate from food journaling.

Tamara said...

Please write more like this. I need to hear this stuff.

Tasty Health Food said...

I'm so glad to see that you're improving! With the loaf, and the crackers... We're proud readers here, proud readers! :D

Mae Flowers said...

You're doing great at this! I think that with all of the counting points, etc. that it's easy to over eat because we always measure out a serving size and sometimes our body doesn't really want the whole serving since when we're be satisfied with a couple of bites. :)

Manderz said...

I am so impressed!!! I hope that one day I can trust myself and eat without counting every morsel that I put in my mouth.

Wendy said...

youre doing sooo gooood!

Sunny said...

I think your new plan sounds great!! At some point we have to just trust ourselves and try to make the best decisions at each meal. Looks like you're doing great!!

SearchingforMe said...

How inspiring! I continue to put off the day to really begin and be accountable for what goes into my body. The "I'll start Monday" always comes and goes with a journal entry of the days food and disappears by Wednesday because life is so rushed...Always so many excuses, I need my Monday's spirit to last until I have made a difference on the scale and in my clothes and happiness in my clothes. I am very unhappy with my appearance and lack the motivation to get started, after all shouldn't you see results of eating properly in just 1 week! (lol)
Thank you for the inspiration and courage for living this online. I have decided to take the challenge on of changing me...my weight and body (inside and out) for the reasons of self happiness and health. The excuse of working long hours can't stand in my way because I can always hide behind that...I need to step up the plate just like I do at work and "get it done"!
Next step- dig out WW litature from years past and figure out some points.
Thanks!...AMB

Marisa (Trim The Fat) said...

Thank you for your kind words everyone! I am thankful that you are willing to listen/read and give me such great encouragement!

Jenn said...

Good for you - I know you can do this. You always have such wonderful meals on your blog - that wrap and burger look sooo good!