It's All About The Food

Thank you all so much for the positive feedback and comments you are giving me as I move into this journey of changing how I look at food. It's been really helpful to me to put all these feelings and self-discoveries into words. Who needs therapy, right? Just blog it!!!

Of course, I have more to babble about, but I have make it quick so I can spend some family time , so it's just all about the food tonight!


I had an early workout this a.m.: a 30 minute run followed by 10 minute upper body strength workout. I had to be out the door quick to pick up Gram, so I went with an easy breakfast - Fiber One Strawberry yogurt sprinkled with Grape Nuts Cereal , CranBran Vitatop and joe-to-go...



The daughters and I took Gram to our local indoor farmer's market for some shopping. It is chock full of amazing fruits, vegetables, grains, nuts, meats and lots and lots and lots of baked goods. Did I mention there were lots?? There were so many drool-worthy items. We walked around for a good hour oogling all the yummy stuff, then the daughters were getting hungry, so we stopped at one of the sit-down cafes inside the market. I wasn't very hungry yet, and for some reason, nothing on the menu really jumped out at me. I finally decided on Insalata Florentina - a spinach salad topped with portabello mushroom, roasted red pepper and feta dressed with a balsamic viniagrette...


There were lots more chunks of cheese and peppers under the mound of salad, too. I ended up eating only half the salad and brought the rest home, along with the roll, for another time.

We did some more exploring in the market. I loved the selection of bulk grains and nuts, not to mention the array of cheeses and MORE baked goods. I came across some organic foods and some interesting healthy treats, too. I wasn't much in the mood to buy anything today, but next visit, I will definitely give some of those treats a try. I did end up with a bag of these pretzels, though...


After we got home, I had a serving (3) for a snack...


I did some kitchen clean-up the rest of the afternoon, only to dirty it up again for dinner! I had thoughts of making calzones for dinner but, I wanted something a little different than the traditional calzone. I saw the Dominex Eggplant Cutlets in my freezer and thought it would be fun to make Eggplant Parmesan Calzones. I baked the cutlets in the oven for 15 minutes until crisp, then set aside. I rolled out Trader Joe's Whole Wheat Pizza Dough, spread some homemade marinara on it, layered on the eggplant cutlets and topped it with some shredded mozzarella and a couple tbsp. parmesan cheese. I folded it over, sealing the edges and baked in 400 degree oven for about 15 minutes. With a side salad, it was the perfect Friday night meal...

Mangia!

Now, I know I said that I didn't feel much like buying any goodies at the farmer's market, however, Gram bought up a storm! I think because she is diabetic and can't have them, she buys them for everyone else!! She bought a vat of chocolate covered pretzels for the daughters and gooey sticky buns for the husband. I just posted yesterday about being able to have it all, remember? Today was definitely a test in being able to "walk the walk". It's funny, I really wasn't affected by looking at all the food today. I was intrigued by it all and enjoyed looking at all of the interesting and delicious foods but, I think it was a big trigger today. Maybe too much all at one time. I know I can have anything I want in moderation, but this day conjured up that old dieting mentality. It's almost as if I was looking at a buffet of "don't haves"; a running list of all the things that I have "given up" during my years of dieting. Kinda like a "food-life flashing before my eyes", so to speak. I was fighting some big cravings when I got home. I kept telling myself it was okay, I can have something if I really want it. But, I didn't really want anything, I just craved something, anything, all of it. I fought the negative feelings that were coming and the guilt feelings. This is okay, I kept saying. So, I decided it was okay to eat a few chocolate covered pretzels...

And I wanted it to be okay to eat a whole lot more, but I stopped. I got to taste them and they were good, really good, and that's all I need. I don't need to scarf down half the bag because it is okay to eat a few chocolate covered pretzels. Yes! But, the dieting feelings were still in the background. I did feel a little guilty. I realize now why: deep down I still want to see a loss on the scale and I worry that eating chocolate covered pretzels and a small taste of ...

(oh, yes I did)... will keep me from losing. So, to be honest, I felt a little uneasy tonight. This past week, I had some pretty good momentum with intuitive eating and I was feeling so liberated from those heavy dieting thoughts. But, they made a mini-appearance today and it was kinda sucky to feel those feelings again. I know this change will take time and I'm going to have these "tests" along the way. I think what's going to matter most is consistency not perfection. So, I'm shakin' these stinky feelings off and I'm excited to keep on keeping on!

Have a great night, everyone!!!